Resist, Rest, Let Go

If you are alive, it is certain that the day will come when you must let go of something dear to you. Your heart finds comfort in a particular season, only to find that the season eventually passes and you must adjust to a new normal. Each change is met with resistance, great sadness, and at some point acceptance. Just as you find acceptance, the sadness re-arises which leads to resistance and anger. Sometimes the cycle feels as if it will never end. Maybe the truth of this life is that the changing of seasons is the only constant. Maybe life is a journey of Letting Go. A tapestry of joy, change, loss, sadness, and finally acceptance.

How do we practice sitting with the changes when the changes are so very uncomfortable? Resistance is a natural response. Resistance cries out “No, I will not accept this – there must be another way.” It is tightly clenched fists holding on to what we just cannot imagine releasing. It is the inability to imagine life any other way than the way it has been. With resistance comes anger. Anger gives the false sense of control and allows us to clench our fists a little tighter. Resistance is a dance which will make your soul grow weary. It is an unsustainable dance, one that will eventually lead to exhaustion and the willingness to take the next step towards letting go.

Have you ever felt sadness so great that it threatens to consume you, sadness so big that it takes your breath away? I have. Hurt has the ability to bring us to our knees. Our hearts feel as if they are no longer inside of our body, but on the outside – raw and exposed. Great sadness can be like a heavy blanket that allows no movement. Great sadness demands that we sit with it, rest in it, and allow it to do its job. Everything in us screams NO, but there comes a point that avoiding the sadness is no longer an option. If our hope is to heal, we must eventually welcome the sadness. Allow the tears to flow. Rest on our knees. And waite patiently as the healing takes place.

Acceptance, it is what happens when we have stopped fighting and allowed ourselves to hurt deeply. With acceptance comes a sweet openness to what may be. Acceptance acknowledges the joy of what was and the sadness of what is not. Acceptance knows that going back is not an option. Acceptance welcomes today. Loss has a way of changing us. Places that were rigid have softened. Judgments quiet. Certainty becomes a little more flexible. We learn to live in the gray, knowing that we never really know.

Take a moment to be. Sit with the you that you are today. You may be in a season of loss, you may be wildly resisting what needs to be released, you may be resting in acceptance. Maybe you are being called to identify just where you are. Be with what is. Notice what it feels like to embrace Joy. Notice what it feels like to ache in your heart. Notice the feeling of rage and resistance as you let go of what is dear to you. Life is change, know that the change is part of your becoming who you are to be. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Maybe place a hand on your heart as you breathe deep. Notice how it feels to allow yourself to be just where you are.

Acceptance is a Small, Quiet Room

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”

Cheryl Strayed