Seasons and Letting Go

Last night I dreamt that I was dying. Not a far in the future death, but a death that would occur in just a few hours. In my dream, I sat with a dear friend. We discussed life, death, and explored the possibilities of what might happen once I took my last breath. The dream was fascinating because while my friend and I never reached a clear conclusion of what would take place after this life, I had a feeling of peace and safety as I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke this morning and felt a bit curious about the lesson offered by my dream. I went out for a run and began reflecting on my life. As I look back it is easy to see that I am the person that I am today because of the hard times. It is my unique experience of struggle and resiliency that helps me to connect more deeply with others.

Autumn is a beautiful season. Green life-filled trees turn to beautiful shades of red and orange as their leaves prepare to fall to the earth. The leaves fall to the earth and become one with the soil, the soil then nourishes and feeds the tree’s root system. The nutrients absorbed allows the tree to create and grow new life-filled green leaves in its next season. What if the tree resisted, what if it said: “no, I will not let go of my leaves!”?  You can imagine how that story would end – the tree would experience a whole lot of suffering only to find that it was powerless in its attempt to hold on and that all the holding on was unnecessary.

I am not advocating for pain and suffering. I am, however, advocating for us to see beyond our present circumstances. What if we can relax a little and trust that our present circumstances are only a season and the feelings we have in this day are temporary. What if the changes taking place are preparing us for a greater life, a beautiful story, a fresh perspective, and a closer connection to our true nature?

A chapter must end for a new chapter to begin.  Endings are always hard and often deeply painful.  There is a natural desire to keep things the same and resist the new life.  Sadness, grief, anger, and despair are all natural responses to an ending.  Feel it, sit with it, but know – it is the passing of a season.

Today I will trust that my circumstances are temporary.  I will allow myself to feel every feeling that passes.  I trust that as I transition through this season I am growing and becoming a stronger and wiser version of me.  I am grateful for moments of peace.